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Dealing with Obstacles

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2018 3:12 am
by SerpentineStorm-(DOG)-
Having a hard time with two people that I used to trust hurts too bad... Thankfully I'm taking a step forward.

First, the day of 16th of January was a hard time for me...
I had to receive a message from a girl whom I used to call her my best friend at school, stating that her mother didn't allow her to talk with me (because of something I don't want to discuss, as it is private between me and her), and that she apologizes.
I told her that maybe there were some problems about this thing that her mother was afraid about. She wanted to protect her from the hazards the streets had to offer, and she was okay with the messages and their information given.
But then she betrayed me right before I slept for a German class field trip to Alexandria to learn more about the Hellenic Empire and their capital, as we were making a presentation about the trip.

Was too sad for the first three days of the Mid-Year Vacation, but then decided that enough was enough, and had to leave her because I found out that I was nothing more than a piece of pebble people walk and kick, and that leaving her actually made me have more power and independence toward myself.
Another girl supported me, and later that girl became my new best friend in school. I'm glad that she was here for my smiles.
(The new best friend is much more faithful than my old one, she [First Girl Best Friend] didn't deserve my friendship love anyways).

Second, yesterday (30/6/2018) was an uprising toward my friend (who didn't feel like my friend at all), and we had to discuss about why I didn't go to the club the day before yesterday.
My parents were a little tired so instead of actually going to the sporting club, I decided to stay with them, and there were guests that came for us, but that friend (now enemy) didn't believe me, and he wasn't convinced enough.
I had to argue with my enemy because I am having problems and I ceased to arrive until things go easy, but at the end I blocked him on social media and on mobile in order to understand that I'm not a piece of pebble he could kick, besides, he wanted to change many things about me (e.g. My walk, the way I talk to people, the way I take jokes a bit seriously), when in fact I am happy with my generosity, my respect, and many things.
He actually has problems himself and tells me to fix mine rudely, I simply told him "Can't you look at yourself first?! Why blame me?!"

Until at the time one of my friends in basketball training was supporting me and tried to fix the problems, ending up destroying the friendship between himself and the enemy.

The enemy was rather insulting us and were calling us "filthy" and then my friend was like "Didn't you call us filthy? Then why are you convincing yourself to sit with us?"

And then 20 minutes later, my friend and I dismissed because he (friend) was somehow hungry, and the enemy was like "Hey! Hey! Hey! At least answer me! HEEEY!"
We never replied, and the enemy decided to leave us, never even saying "Hey" again.
The enemy wanted to talk to my friend about me and my sensitivity (as he is sensitive too), but it was too late for him (enemy) to receive an answer, and lost two of his "trusty and hopeful friends".
As we were sitting down, we discussed about the issues the enemy had, and decided to never talk again in order to get rid of him in our lives.
( I didn't like him anyways, he was too rude to both of us )


This shall show to both my enemies that being ruthless will not help you to regain friends, but to rather lose them.

And I'm never giving up on how I behave or who am I dealing with, because if these people don't know how to respect themselves first before us, they'll encounter a serious change and they'll regret it afterwards.



I am human, and I have shown to all of you that I, too, can have hard times and I won't struggle or give up in order to achieve my final decision!

Re: Dealing with Obstacles

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2018 8:42 am
by Leo(T.C.K.)
Thanks, it was good to read this, to see that I wasn't alone in such issues when I was growing up, though similar things happened earlier in my life than yours.

I was betrayed by my best friend who became enemy that I didn't see again but that I was haunted by for years after.

And also my former enemy became my best friend instead around that time.

And I lost him way later but not in such a betrayal.

It had more to do with his insecurities as such. He admitted to me that he was homosexual and he was basically prepared for me to shun him afterwards.
He was feeling bad that he was this way. He had some people give him hard time for it.

He used to be really twisted as a kid, but I began to understand him more and more.
Some people almost drove him mad to the point of him almost stabbing me.

But at the time of his admission (despite people making jokes towards us that we were doing "naughty" things when we used to visit each other at home, we were still just friends, nothing of the sort happened between us that they said it would), I could sense that he's getting twisted again and I recognized it as a result of the society pressuring him in such a way.

In fact in my current situation I find myself getting similarly twisted, as things are tightening around me and the way things are are returning towards the repressive socialism that I cannot live in.

Thus out of all the blame people give me, I find myself on the edge of doing things that will get me rid of such.

To get back on the topic, I did tell him that I was at the very least bisexual or something of that kind and he had hard time believing that it was the case and he started to say that he didn't think such people existed and so on.

It was really sad listening to that nonsense.

In today world indeed they have embraced homosexuality as the norm but only if such people are visibly seen dressing in all those stereotypical pink and bright colors. (though these days even the so called "straight" males do the same thing).

Thus, I was never part of any homosexual culture and I do tend to dislike it for this reason.

I also think the real marriages that happen in many countries are pushing it a bit, because originally at least in the dominant christian west, the marriage came to be for very different reasons than it is in your religion I believe.

It was something for the rich and indeed for man and a woman. They adapted it these days, but now they tend to "force it down the throat" instead of it being just an option.

In my country the homosexual marriage as such doesn't exist though, only the "registered partnership".

I keep hearing from so many people that the muslim religion hunts down people who are homosexual, but I think it's not the way they say it is.

In fact, I think it is a form of hypocricy because the most hunts were organised in the past by christians and they want to show how "better" they've become.

Still, in the light of everything, I do have a lot against the sissy culture surrounding homosexuality that has crept outside of that even, to the point of men being dominated by women to the point of having no self confidence. Unlike in the "real west", females have been here traditionally in leading positions, but they are also the most ruthless about it.

I see "sexuality" as simply a form of "taste", but people tend to shoehorn it into all kind of cultural cliches and expected behaviors. And I dismiss all of that.

Sorry to have taken it a little off the topic here, but this is what I have to say about it all.

Especially because I lost my second best friend due to this cultural issue and him being so insecure and thinking he's worthless trash and becoming twisted.

And the first best friend I lost was because he tended to flock with those that gave me hard time suddenly, so as not to lose his position that I helped him to achieve, helped him with math problems and helped him get to a school where the teachers are a little more forgiving, but where the kids were spoiled and corrupt and in the end the teachers covered the kids/teenagers of the rich parents.

And he ended up fatally betraying me to the system.

Now flash forward many years and I find that the system has been so corrupt meanwhile that it reached even the higher levels including courts taking away rights.

If you think that the europe is the front end for human rights, think again, that's all just another propaganda.

And states like these abuse new rules and laws being passed into EU to twist them to a complete opposite of what they were meant to do.

There's no hope for those people and I do have to fight for the truth and honesty.

And they will have to shoot me down before I would give up.

EDIT: One of the things my second best friend wouldn't understand is that he said that I at least have a choice to find myself a girl, etc.

He wouldn't realize it doesn't work that way. That I cannot just "choose" as if choosing an object.

And to me, most people who treat others as simply objects (there is difference between natural attraction and choosing out of selfishness) of "oh being with him/her is going to get me a better status" are the real filth that they shout about.

Re: Dealing with Obstacles

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2018 3:47 pm
by SerpentineStorm-(DOG)-
Leo(T.C.K.) wrote: Sun Jul 01, 2018 8:42 am I keep hearing from so many people that the muslim religion hunts down people who are homosexual, but I think it's not the way they say it is.

I wouldn't talk about religions in order not to cause problems, but Islam totally forbids the person being a homosexual, and that in the religion mentions that God will let these people from the Damned.

Leo(T.C.K.) wrote: Sun Jul 01, 2018 8:42 am It had more to do with his insecurities as such. He admitted to me that he was homosexual and he was basically prepared for me to shun him afterwards.
He was feeling bad that he was this way. He had some people give him hard time for it.

He used to be really twisted as a kid, but I began to understand him more and more.
Some people almost drove him mad to the point of him almost stabbing me.

But at the time of his admission (despite people making jokes towards us that we were doing "naughty" things when we used to visit each other at home, we were still just friends, nothing of the sort happened between us that they said it would), I could sense that he's getting twisted again and I recognized it as a result of the society pressuring him in such a way.

In fact in my current situation I find myself getting similarly twisted, as things are tightening around me and the way things are are returning towards the repressive socialism that I cannot live in.

It truly feels like hell for you, I could actually feel it!
They pressure him because they're homophobic and they're rather afraid that he would actually do something to you or them.

Society doesn't ever appreciate a person's freedom, and I think that we should leave things as it should be until God claims the punishment for who committed the most sins.

I think that because you keep getting atrocious thoughts of your friend and his "twisted" side, I guess that caused you to feel more anxious and caused you to feel twisted.

Re: Dealing with Obstacles

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2018 4:04 pm
by Leo(T.C.K.)
No, it's because of how other people mistreat me now that I feel twisted.

But I thought back at him, as I last spoke to him about ten years ago now.

We stayed friends for more than 10 years though originally.

But I thought, perhaps he had a good reason then that he feels twisted if this is how people treat you when you differ.

Fact is, he didn't admit to anyone he was homosexual until way later, though I could myself guess it.

And that even made him more insecure. Even though I intended the opposite.
EDIT:
Well, now I realize also that perhaps initially when he didn't admit as such to be homosexual, I could have made him more insecure especially when he once did make move towards me and wanted me to kiss him. It did anger me back then, but that was even before we became best friends. So in a way things kinda went the full circle and I guess I suffered consequences for initially being so angry to him..

he must have felt similarly like I feel now...
but there has to be more behind it...

I think the reason he was so twisted was because someone else twisted him before. There were also things he wouldn't remember that happened back then...

There is this mystery man...and he has something to do with my missing memories. That's all I can say and there is some connection here.